6 SIGNS YOU ARE NOT READY TO MOVE IN TOGETHER

1. You鈥檙e using it as a way to gauge your relationship鈥檚 strength.

Moving in together shouldn鈥檛 be a litmus test for whether your relationship is on sound foundation. It should be a decision made in full faith that you鈥檙e already on solid footing as a couple and totally excited for the next step, said Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling for men.

鈥淟iving together should be a step taken only when it鈥檚 evident that the relationship and both of you are ready for the change,鈥 Smith said.

It鈥檚 an equally bad sign if you鈥檝e given no thought whatsoever to what a move-in could mean for the relationship.

鈥淚f there鈥檚 no hesitation or questioning of the decision, that鈥檚 a concern, too,鈥 Smith said. 鈥淏lindly and overconfidently walking into this relationship transition is a mistake.鈥

2. You鈥檝e yet to have your first big argument.

Sorry, couples of a mere three months: It may seem romantic, but it鈥檚 probably ill-advised to move in together. Why? It鈥檚 very likely you haven鈥檛 yet had the kind of serious arguments that really test a relationship, said Isiah McKimmie, a couples therapist and sexologist in Melbourne, Australia. (For instance: What鈥檚 the game plan if one of us loses our job? Will we eventually have kids and how will we raise them? How involved will we allow our in-laws to be?)

鈥淪eeing how our partner reacts when an argument or difficult conversation arises is an important factor in deciding whether or not to stay with the person,鈥 McKimmie said. 鈥淚f you can successfully manage arguments before and after the honeymoon phase, living together will probably be more harmonious.鈥

3. You haven鈥檛 talked about money.

Conversations about money and financial goals are far from sexy, but they鈥檙e necessary. If you avoid them, you might end up arguing about money. And couples who argue about finances early on are at a greater risk for divorce than other couples, regardless of their income, debt or net worth.

Money talks are even more important if you plan to cohabitate, Smith said.

鈥淭here needs to be conversations about how bills will be shared, what each person earns and how much debt each you each have,鈥 Smith said. 鈥淏eing transparent about these things is evidence of a mature relationship that鈥檚 ready for the big step.鈥

4. There鈥檚 another roommate involved and they鈥檙e uneasy about the move-in.

If you have a roommate 鈥 maybe you rent a two-bedroom with a longtime friend, or share your home with your kids from a previous relationship 鈥 it鈥檚 imperative that you include them in this discussion early on, said Ryan Howes, a psychologist from Pasadena, California.

鈥淵ou may love the idea of cohabitation and feel like your relationship is ready for it, but if others under the same roof don鈥檛 agree, you could be entering into a miserable arrangement for everyone,鈥 Howes said. 鈥淢oving in together isn鈥檛 just about love; it鈥檚 a practical decision as well. And if the practicality of it raises stress levels for others, it might be better to wait or move somewhere else together.鈥

5. You see it as a Band-Aid for problems in your relationship.

Moving in isn鈥檛 a fix-all for existing problems between a couple, said Amanda Deverich, a marriage and family therapist in Williamsburg, Virginia. If you鈥檝e experienced a relationship crisis 鈥 an affair, for instance, or some other lapse of trust in the relationship 鈥 what you may need now is some space, not shared living quarters.

鈥淔or some troubled couples, moving in together can sometimes be a hyper-healing impulse to solidify the relationship,鈥 Deverich told HuffPost. 鈥淯sually, it鈥檚 better to take time to understand how the break of trust happened, though. Identify what needs to be in place so it doesn鈥檛 happen again, and practice those strategies over time to be sure the relationship is strong.鈥

6. You feel like your partner is pressuring you into the move.

Sure, moving in together is a weighty decision, but it shouldn鈥檛 feel like a huge gamble on your part. If you鈥檙e apprehensive about it and need constant reassurance from your partner that this it鈥檚 going to work out in the end, you may want to go with your instincts.

鈥淎 little apprehension is normal, but if your body is sending strong signals that tell you it鈥檚 too soon, that red flags are waving, or that you鈥檙e just not ready, don鈥檛 force it,鈥 Howes said. 鈥淭his is the 鈥榯rust your gut鈥 instinct people talk about so much. Don鈥檛 rush it; waiting a couple of months until you feel ready to fish or cut bait might make the most sense.鈥

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